Still Waiting

Have you prayed over and repeatedly for something and still have yet to see it come to past?

Are you tired of praying about that situation, that problem…that desire…that longing?

Are you ready to throw in the towel?

Perhaps one of our issues is we are too focused on what WE want. We are humans and often, it’s all about us and what we desire. But what about what God wants?

My friend, who is a priest, once told me that God is more interested in who we become during the journey as opposed to just getting us to the destination.

As I think about this, it reminds me of a graduation. It’s such a big deal. Lots of bells and whistles. It’s an exciting day…but it’s ONE day. It’s that one day which culminates years of schooling in some instances. And trust me, I love graduations! They are worth celebrating. However, it’s the challenges we overcome, the victories, the failures, the late nights, early mornings, the tears, the difficult professors, perhaps the sitting out a semester for whatever reason…the journey of mountaintop and valley experiences, which all make the tassel worth the hassle. It’s all we have been through to get to that cap and gown, cross the stage, family-cheering moment.

So as you wait on what you have so earnestly prayed for, begin to take your focus off the destination and begin contemplating what God is doing in you during the journey. Is He trying to get you to be more patient? Is He desiring to strengthen your faith in Him? Is He saying, ‘You’re not ready. You want this more than you want me’? Is He saying, ‘My grace is sufficient’?

The reality is waiting can be hard (I know). Waiting can be lonely (I know). Waiting can be frustrating, particularly when we’ve been waiting long AND we see others – including those who do not serve the Lord – receiving some of the same requests we have been praying for (I know that too!). It might be weeks, months, years of prayer for healing, deliverance from low self esteem, a house, that new job, the husband, the baby, the salvation of your son, that scholarship, restoration of your marriage, that financial breakthrough etc. If God were to give us everything we want – and immediately at that – we would have no need to trust in Him. We would see Him as a magician.

So during these early morning hours, as I think about what I am waiting for, I encourage you – while I am encouraging myself in the Lord – to fix your eyes upon Jesus. Do not desire anything or anyone more than Him. Do not compare yourself to others. What God has for you…for me, we will get. Wait patiently. Wait on His timing. Wait faithfully. Worship while you wait. Get busy doing the work of the Lord, while you wait. Don’t waste your wait. Grow through it.


Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. ~ Psalm 27:14

Growing in Christ,

Hadassah

Less Me. More God!

It’s been long. Far too long. I have not posted anything in this space in nearly three months.

I am led now though to share some thoughts: God has been doing a wonderful work in my life. I am growing in Christ and it is but for the grace of God!

The growth is evident because in recent weeks, I’ve experienced a shift in my atmosphere. Notice, I didn’t say a shift in the atmosphere, but a shift in MY atmosphere.

My thinking has changed. It has evolved. I find myself more interested in doing God’s will than my own. In fact, during my evening worship today, I sang along with William McDowell as he belted out the simple, yet profound words of, ‘I Give Myself Away.’ The lyrics resonate with me:


Here I am
Here I stand
Lord, my life is in your hands
Lord, I’m longing to see
Your desires revealed in me
I give myself away

I give myself away (I want to be used by you)
So You can use me
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me

Take my heart
Take my life
As a living sacrifice
All my dreams all my plans
Lord I place them in your hands



Truly, I am at the point in my spiritual walk where I am beginning to divest myself of things I have really wanted… yearned for. I am at the point of: Not my will, but THY WILL be done…whatever that will might be. There are earthly things I desire, but I have decided: Even if you don’t give them to me, Lord I will still praise you, I will still worship you…I will still serve you, for you are God – and God ALONE! I want nothing or nobody more than I want God.



My life is no longer about me. It’s less me and more God. I am more interested in being a light and the salt of the earth than attaining things, accolades etc.

I am here to serve God, sharing the unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ, in person and on social media. I am reminded of wise King Solomon, who surmised that all of the things in the world and of the flesh are vanity and vexation of spirit. In the end, we can’t take a thing with us. God won’t ask us about our degrees, our followers…our awards. As Jesus commanded: “Occupy till I come” (Luke 19:13); however, we are not to become so occupied that we give Him a backseat to our lives, only telling Him to hop in front or drive when we are on rough terrain. We must allow Jesus to take His rightful place in our lives.



Anyway, just thought I’d give someone some inspiration by sharing my heart. Join me in realizing: Our lives are not our own. Let’s give ourselves to Him…fully. His way or no way.

Growing in Christ,

Hadassah

Clogged Feelings

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Recently, a small piece of soap slipped down the drain of the tub and as small as that was, it caused a back-up of water. The water was draining out of the tub, but slowly. I contacted my brother, who is a plumber, and he got the job done. The water is now freely flowing down the drain.

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As I thought of that simple situation, my mind went on the fact that so many people sometimes have things which are blocking their freedom. You  haven’t been able to get pass how offended you were when your colleague said something to you; you are still holding in a sibling for what he or she did when you were teens; when you hear the name of your college room mate, you want to roll your eyes; you have a problem with the mother who did not invite your child to her child’s birthday party or maybe you aren’t speaking to your neighbour based on an argument over his tree hanging over in your yard. There are a myriad of things which we not only allow to offend us, but we hold them in, allowing malice, hate, unforgiveness…to lodge in our spirits. When we do carry these negative vibes with us, it’s less about the person and more about us, and where we are in our spiritual lives.

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Back in the early 1990s when I was in college, there was a girl who I understood had something to say about me. I didn’t like it one bit! Now, I was never a fighter and had no intention of fighting her, but I surely felt a burning desire to approach her about what I heard she had to say.

I had it all planned. I went as far as going on campus earlier than normal that morning because I knew where she hung out (under a particular tree) and I needed to tell her a piece of my mind. I – with my 110-lb frame back then – was going to fly some words in her face! Well, as per usual, she came walking towards the area with a friend of hers and I confronted her. After I told her my five cents, I walked off, feeling like a champion. I felt I let her know, “I don’t play!” or in modern terms, it would be: “Stay in ya lane!”

Some four years later, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life as Lord and Saviour. I began to grow and change was taking place. Interestingly, about a year into my relationship with the Lord, I was about to go on a fast (it was not my first fast) and the Holy Spirit prompted me. I don’t know why I wasn’t prompted earlier, but God is an on-time God. He brought her face and name to my attention and I instantly knew he was directing me to deal with that matter from years prior.

At that point, I was working and I also knew where she worked, having seen her at that organization a few times. I put pride aside, called her and told her I wanted to apologize for the way I approached her that early morning, under the tree. Believe it or not, she was very receptive and we had a wonderful conversation. And even had she not accepted my apology, most important was to be obedient to the Holy Spirit. Pastor of In Touch Ministries, Charles Stanley, coined the phrase: “Obey God and leave the consequences to Him.”

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When I hung up following that conversation, I was FREE! It was a wonderful feeling and there is nothing like a clear conscious. Honestly, before the Holy Spirit prompted me, I didn’t even think of that incident. When I would see her over the years, she was always far away in distance and we never had to interact. I didn’t feel I was holding her in, but perhaps it needed to be cleared up because she might have been the one holding ME in. I don’t know.

You see, the Bible states clearly in Matthew 5 verses 23 and 24:

“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

God knew I had a situation that was not cleared up and it was time to address the matter. Why it took so long for me to be prompted – I don’t know.

Honestly, I’ve had more than one experience like this. I even just had a situation last year, but it took a much shorter time to speak to the individual. In that case, I told her I was VERY HURT. I didn’t even call her; I emailed. She was quite apologetic and I was finally able to move on because before that, just to see her, I would want to avoid her. In fact, I said that had the matter happened BEFORE my wedding, I would not have invited her. That’s how affected I was. It bothered me greatly. I felt she crossed a line. She went too far. I felt I could no longer trust her – if she could go that far.

On the other hand, I’ve had situations where my conscience beat me up and I felt the need to apologize within minutes, hours or within a day or two. God is working on me people!

My prayer is that God will CLEAN ME UP in the name of Jesus because we serve a God who is very forgiving. And of course, we shouldn’t allow people to walk all over us, but certainly, as Christians, we ought not to hold people in. God has called us to “put aside” bitterness, malice etc. (Ephesians 4:31). When we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us of ALL unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)! PRAISE YE THE LORD!!!!

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I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal to you if there are any matters you need to clear up before man and Him. Today, I am more in tune with God, thank God, so to not deal with a matter when I am feeling condemned would be disobedience. The enemy wants to keep us trapped! However: Freedom is beautiful! Unshackle those chains TODAY in the name of Jesus!

 

Growing in Christ,

Hadassah